Thursday, 1 October 2015

Being engaged or being successful… Do I have to choose?

By Édgar Maiguel (undergraduate FIGRI student, 8th semester, English through Multimedia elective)

Once, I read an article written by Ryan Bruderlich. It was called “Why do successful men keep being single?” It may seem to be a superficial idea, but there are a lot of things behind that question. Ryan asked: “Have you ever faced that awkward question: Why are you single?” Society makes you feel that there must be a strong reason to justify the fact you are single. The situation gets worse when the twenties arrive. It is at this time when your life starts to take shape. You become a professional and an independent person, and a partner starts to be seen as a requirement. But, what about a person who has a promising professional life, is a good catch, but is still single? Does that make him less successful in the eyes of others? I don’t think so!

A good catch spends his time and his money on the things that make him a good catch. Being in a relationship requires, besides love and patience, money and time. Usually, a good-looking and intelligent person seems that way because he is dedicated to taking care of his personal image and his responsibilities. For some people, being in a relationship is not a priority and they prefer to devote their resources to improving themselves. In that case, being single is not a nightmare, it is an opportunity to become better.

Another reason why good catches are often single is that the majority of people are scared of heights and when you are on a pedestal you can be hard to reach. When you finish your degree, when you learn another language, when you work out to be in shape you are adding, unconsciously, an extra step to be reached. The person who desires to be with you will be, for sure, scared of reaching your “high” standards. Moreover, some people may avoid approaching you just to escape being rejected. For that reason, a good catch may be seen as stand-offish without meaning it. Furthermore, without even thinking it, you also add filters. If you are a professional, you will certainly be looking for a professional too. If you work out, you probably won’t accept a fat or sedentary person. Then, you are not helping a lot! But don´t worry, you are above the average and justification is not needed.

To summarize, being single should not be seen as a mistake if you are using those resources to become a better you. Additionally, you shouldn’t feel bad for looking too high for some people. The person who really desires to be with you will arrive at your same level. Remember, what is worth having, is worth waiting for. And finally, the next time you face the awkward question “Why are you single?” don´t be afraid to answer because you have plenty of justifications. 

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